thirsty

Everything that I have learned is melting away. It's hard to replace old habits with new ones. To ask for help when you need it. To set boundaries and stick to them. God is not in my head. He is real. and its all worth it.

God help me

I realized today my unquenchable need for God. I constantly mess things up. I ruin job opportunities, educational opportunities. I ruin everything. I've made a mess of my life. I want to daily turn it over to God and I want to watch him work. I realize that I will be miserable everywhere I decide to go that God doesn't want me. I'm tired of making Executive decisions that leave me miserable. I want to not only consult God but to let him have the final say.